This morning marks the first day of "headin' on back to the gym". That may sound like a normal part of everyones life and something we often don't give much thought to but for me, it's pretty big I suppose.
I have always lived with so much passion for things that when I do them I do them with all of me. It has been very rare that if I go into work, love, life or a hobby that I do it with balance. Thus equates to me needing to cut back on something or someone and usually that starts with me WHICH equals... me as a plumpette.Bleh.
So, I can find 1,000,002 excuses why I can't go to the gym, why I have no time, how I can be doing something more productive... etc. etc. (putting me last again)
But truly, in my career there is nothing more important about what you do or who you are than feeling confident about it. I choose to sell that side of life to women so what happens when I am not feeling that way? What happens when I have to "remind" myself to be nice when I look in the mirror... that's not good. :0/ It's about those times that I reach for my long lost friend~ motivation.
Sometimes I can't even find her. Sometimes I contemplate over the formula of how one acquires it. I can always recall periods of my life when I have been overly motivated (going back to that unbalanced thing)... like full speed ahead, wind smacking my eyelashes to my forehead kind of momentum... but that only lasts so long and then it somehow creeps slowly out of my life again. WTH? How is it that I look around at these women who have missed 4 days of the gym in the past 8 years or something? What part of that "motivation" do they have that I don't know about? What have they tapped into? Do they have healthy family lives, kids, work, husbands... life's? Some do, some don't... I don't know. But the grass is always greener and I admire them. A lot.
One time I had been going to the gym for awhile, I was feeling great... I had lost weight and my overall energy and lust for life had shot up. I remember thinking... what am I doing different now? Then I remembered my cardio sesh on the treadmill earlier that morning... I had great music. LOUD ~~~~>which is a MUST!<~~~~ and I kept repeating to myself how proud I was of "me". So I am sure those moments had a lot to do with it. When was the last time I told myself that, truly... and felt it? Like when your Dad says..."I'm really, really proud of you." That feeling that stands up and is like... "yeah, yeah!" We've all been there... I hope. :0/
Anyway... for this morning my motivation is this... and this is what I am carrying out into the world:
I have this life to live. This life that I create in good moments, in present moments, in high energy, in eagerness to experience it all... I create it. I want to feel good in my body when the spring comes and I walk out my door to breathe in the fresh, aromatic air. I want to walk around in the security and confidence I know I posses when I am around other people. I want to exude a weightless mind free of worry about what I look like or how I care for my body. I WILL wear shorts this summer and know that I have worked hard to do so. I will have genuine fun in a pool without being partially distracted on "how this makes me look". I will learn to accept myself as a work in progress, as I will always be, as long as I am moving forward in health, love and progress. I am motivated as a mother to be here for my child when he needs me the most and not be overcome by my neglect to care for and entertain the most precious person on this planet... my boy. ;0) And last but not least... I will be a supportive and confident wife. A woman who stands in her own place of confidence, love, compassion and health as a partner in her husbands life. I want to be the healthiest version of myself and transfer that energy into everyone I meet. I want to believe in myself, rely on myself and depend on me knowing that I can do this, I have the follow through and know when to put me first.
Today, this is what my motivation means to me.
And so it is... ;0)
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